26 May 2010

The Big Bang Theory (Season 03) Quotes


Title: The Big Bang Theory



Season 03

Mary Cooper: Gimme. By His hand we are all...
Sheldon Cooper: Fed.
Mary Cooper: Give us, Lord, our daily...
Sheldon Cooper: Bread.
Mary Cooper: Please know that we are truly...
Sheldon Cooper: Grateful.
Mary Cooper: For every cup and every...
Sheldon: Plateful.
Mary Cooper: Amen. Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?
Sheldon Cooper: My objection was based on considerations other than difficulty.
-- S03E01 The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Mary Cooper: You watch your mouth, Shelly. Everyone's entitled to their opinion.
Sheldon Cooper: Evolution isn't an opinion, it's a fact.
Mary Cooper: And that is your opinion.
-- S03E01 The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon Cooper: Howard, you know me to be a very smart man. Don’t you think if I were wrong, I'd know it?
-- S03E02 The Jiminy Conjecture

Penelope ?, also known as Penny: You know what, I give up. He's impossible.
Sheldon: I can't be impossible. I exist. I believe what you meant to say is, "I give up, he's improbable".
-- S03E03 The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon Cooper: Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled on to that.
-- S03E03 The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard Hofstadter: I've always been a little confused about this, why don't Hindus eat beef?
Rajesh Koothrappali, also known as Raj: We believe cows are gods.
Sheldon Cooper: Not technically. In Hinduism, cattle are thought to be like gods.
Rajesh Koothrappali, also known as Raj: Do not tell me about my own culture, Sheldon! In the mood I'm in, I'll take you out, I swear to cow!
-- S03E04 The Pirate Solution

Rajesh Koothrappali, also known as Raj: Okay, well, let me just tell you, if we were having this argument in my native language, I’d be kicking your butt.
-- S03E04 The Pirate Solution

Sheldon Cooper: I looked over the board and it turns out you were right.
Rajesh Koothrappali, also known as Raj: So you were wrong.
Sheldon Cooper: I didn't say that.
Rajesh Koothrappali, also known as Raj: That's the only logical inference.
Sheldon Cooper: Nevertheless, I didn't say it.
-- S03E04 The Pirate Solution

Penelope ?, also known as Penny: The heart wants what the heart wants, Leonard.
-- S03E05 The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Richard William Wheaton, also known as Wil: What is wrong with him?
Stuart Bloom: Everyone has a different theory.
-- S03E05 The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, for God’s sake! So you have childhood issues. We all have childhood issues. At some point, you just need to grow up and get past them.
-- S03E07 The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon Cooper: You may be interested to know that a prohibition against looking is well established in heroic mythology: Lot and his wife, Perseus and Medusa, Orpheus and Eurydice.
Penelope ?, also known as Penny: Yeah, great.
Sheldon Cooper: They always look. It never ends well.
-- S03E08 The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Bernadette Rostenkowski: Look, Howard, this is our third date and we both know what that means.
Howard Wolowitz: We do?
Bernadette Rostenkowski: Sex.
Howard Wolowitz: You're kidding.
...
Howard Wolowitz: Three dates means sex? Who knew?
-- S03E09 The Vengeance Formulation

Penelope ?, also known as Penny: Howard, you're going to throw away a great girl like Bernadette because you're holding out for some ridiculous fantasy?
Howard Wolowitz: Hey, just because you settled doesn't mean I have to.
Leonard Hofstadter: Excuse me, I'm sitting here.
Penelope ?, also known as Penny: Hey, I did not settle for Leonard. I mean, obviously, he isn't the kind of guy I usually go out with, you know, physically.
Leonard Hofstadter: Again, I'm right here.
Penelope ?, also known as Penny: My point is, I do not judge a book by its cover. I am interested in the person underneath.
Leonard Hofstadter: I am here, right? You see me.
Howard Wolowitz: Hey, I'm interested in what's inside people, too, but why is it wrong to want those insides wrapped up in, say, the delicious caramel that is Halle Berry?...
Penelope ?, also known as Penny: All right, you know what, I will tell you why it's wrong...
Sheldon: Excuse me, may I interject?
Penelope ?, also known as Penny: What?
Sheldon Cooper: Biologically speaking, Howard is perfectly justified in seeking out the optimum mate for the propagation of his genetic line.
Howard Wolowitz: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon Cooper: Now, whether that propagation is in the interest of humanity is, of course, an entirely different question.
-- S03E09 The Vengeance Formulation

Howard Wolowitz: I hope it's all right, I told my girlfriend Bernadette she could join us for dinner.
Leonard Hofstadter: Sure. The more, the merrier.
Sheldon Cooper: Wait, no, that's a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there were 2,000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.
-- S03E10 The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon Cooper: Why are you crying?
Penelope ?, also known as Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon Cooper: Well, that's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
-- S03E10 The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon Cooper: The comforting part is that the Germans have a term for what you're feeling, Weltschmerz. It means the depression that arises from comparing the world as it is to a hypothetical, idealized world.
-- S03E11 The Maternal Congruence

Penelope ?, also known as Penny: No, wait, wait, no, wait. What are you doing here?
Sheldon Cooper: A reasonable question. I asked myself, 'what is the most mind-numbing, pedestrian job conceivable?', and three answers came to mind: a toll booth attendant, an Apple Store genius, and what Penny does. Now, since I don't like touching other people's coins, and I refuse to contribute to the devaluation of the word genius, here I am.
-- S03E14 The Einstein Approximation

Rajesh Koothrappali, also known as Raj: Dude, I'm glad you finally got a girlfriend, but do you have to do all that lovey-dovey stuff in front of those of us who don't?
Sheldon Cooper: Actually, he might have to. There’s an economic concept known as a positional good in which an object is only valued by the possessor because it’s not possessed by others. The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial, but less precise neener-neener.
-- S03E15 The Large Hadron Collision

Amy Farrah Fowler: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.
-- S03E23 The Lunar Excitation

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