Title: Daria
Season 01
Quinn Morgendorffer: Nobody told me about any tests.
Daria Morgendorffer: Don't worry. It's a psychological test. You're automatically exempt.
-- S01E01 Esteemers
Helen Morgendorffer: We tell you over and over again that you're wonderful, and you just don't get it. What's wrong with you?!
...
Daria Morgendorffer: Don't worry. I don't have low self-esteem. It's a mistake.
Jake Morgendorffer: I"ll say.
Daria Morgendorffer: I have low esteem for everyone else.
-- S01E01 Esteemers
Daria Morgendorffer: I wanna know what 'realizing your actuality' means.
-- S01E01 Esteemers
Timothy O'Neill: Self-esteem is important because...
Daria Morgendorffer: It's a quality that will stand us in good stead for the rest of our lives.
Timothy O'Neill: Very good. Now. The next time I start to feel bad about myself...
Jane Lane: ... stand before the mirror, look myself in the eye and say, "You are special. No one else is like you."
Timothy O'Neill: You two really have been paying attention. Okay. There's no such thing...
Jane Lane: ... as the right weight...
Daria Morgendorffer: ... or the right height.
Jane Lane: There's only what's right for me.
Daria Morgendorffer: Because me is who I am.
-- S01E01 Esteemers
Quinn Morgendorffer: I think people who run over animals should get run over themselves to see how they like it.
-- S01E03 College Bored
Daria Morgendorffer: Isn't modeling for people who drop out of high school to pursue a career based solely on youth and looks, both of which are inevitably declared dead at age 25?
-- S01E06 This Year's Model
Helen Morgendorffer: And, for the record, I agree with you.
Jake Morgendorffer: So do I.
Daria Morgendorffer: I suppose you realize that now I have to reconsider my position.
-- S01E06 This Year's Model
Helen Morgendorffer: I don't think you realize that modeling is an extremely competitive activity...
Quinn Morgendorffer: So is dating, if you do it right.
Helen Morgendorffer: In which your value as a human being is decided entirely on the basis of how you look.
Quinn Morgendorffer: When does the bad part come in?
-- S01E06 This Year's Model
Brittany Taylor: So you're saying that feeling bad about not feeling worse is good?!
-- S01E13 The Misery Chick
Season 02
Daria Morgendorffer: Sometimes your shallowness is so thorough, it's almost like depth.
-- S02E03 Quinn the Brain
Jane Lane: There are different standards for cute people.
Daria Morgendorffer: You mean, no standards?
Jane Lane: Right.
Daria Morgendorffer: Isn't there any time when how you look doesn't affect how you're judged?
-- S02E03 Quinn the Brain
Jake Morgendorffer: You know, kids, it's pointless to try go back in time. You have to live in the present.
-- S02E05 That Was Then, This Is Dumb
Helen Morgendorffer: It's just that sometimes you judge people's behavior by a pretty rigid set of standards. Not everyone can live up to them.
Daria Morgendorffer: That's what's wrong with the world.
Helen Morgendorffer: Not even you live up to them all the time.
-- S02E06 Monster
Quinn Morgendorffer: By the way, which is my best side? I know they're both good.
-- S02E06 Monster
Jodi Landon: You realize your negative approach to everything is self-defeating, right?
-- S02E08 Gifted
Season 03
Jane Lane: Hey, Jodi knows what it's like.
Jodi Landon: What's 'what's like'?
Jane Lane: To have standards too high to live up to.
-- S03E01 Through A Lens Darkly
Jane Lane: This is just like a high school.
Daria Morgendorffer: You know, I get the feeling we'll be saying that all our lives.
St. Patrick's Day Leprechaun: It only seems like high school. Actually, it's much worse.
Jane Lane: That's what we'll be saying all our lives.
-- S03E03 Depth Takes a Holiday
Helen Morgendorffer: Coming in second wouldn't be the worst...
Quinn Morgendorffer: As long as no one else was first.
-- S03E07 Daria!
Daria Morgendorffer: Aren't you terrified?
Quinn Morgendorffer: It's all about attitude. You're too timid, Daria. I could do this all day.
-- S03E10 Speedtrapped
Quinn Morgendorffer: Daria, all guys are all alike. The secret is knowing how to ask them.
-- S03E10 Speedtrapped
Season 04
Diane Bennett: In the real world, we rarely make financial decisions without having to consider someone else's needs and wishes.
-- S04E01 Partner's Complaint
Daria Morgendorffer: You know, I had everything more or less in control. I'm not saying it was great but I could deal... And now, nothing's under control.
Helen Morgendorffer: It never is, sweetie. We just tell ourselves otherwise so we can function.
Daria Morgendorffer: Who came up with that stupid arrangement?
Helen Morgendorffer: It's called life.
Daria Morgendorffer: Life sucks.
Helen Morgendorffer: Yes. Sometimes... Often.
Daria Morgendorffer: That's reassuring.
Helen Morgendorffer: But it still beats the alternative. Honey, things will work out. I don't know how, but they will.
Daria Morgendorffer: You don't know how? What kind of parental wisdom is that?
Helen Morgendorffer: Honest.
-- S004E13 Dye! Dye! My Darling
?: That's not fair. You can't evaluate the work outside the context of its time.
?: You can, if it's good.
-- S04E14 Is It Fall Yet
Jane Lane: Wait, what's my point?
Daria Morgendorffer: That life sucks no matter what, so don't be fooled by location changes.
-- S04E14 Is It Fall Yet
Season 05
Daria Morgendorffer: So your reach exceeded your grasp; I'd rather have that happen to me than the opposite.
Jake Morgendorffer: What do you mean?
Daria Morgendorffer: You know what good is, that's how you know you didn't achieve it. That's a lot better than if you were putting out crap and thinking it was great.
Jake Morgendorffer: It is?
Daria Morgendorffer: You came up short because you were aiming high.
-- S05E05 The Story of D
Quinn Morgendorffer: I'm trying as hard as I can but I just can't decide because what if the one I think is the right one turns out to be the wrong one, and the wrong one is the right one or one of the right ones?!
-- S05E08 One J at a Time
Quinn Morgendorffer: Do you ever think maybe guys and girls aren't meant to understand each other? Like it's all some big unfunny joke on us we'll be struggling with for the rest of our lives?
-- S05E08 One J at a Time
Jane Lane: Maybe some time you can teach me how to pass judgment on someone I have never met.
Daria Morgendorffer: She's gonna be disappointed.
Thomas Sloane, also known as Tom: Yeah, that's not really the kind of thing you can teach.
-- S05E09 Life in the Past Lane
Daria Morgendorffer: I didn't feel it was my place to state that incredibly obvious fact. I mean, impose my subjective opinion.
-- S05E09 Life in the Past Lane
Thomas Sloane, also known as Tom: We always have to pretend problems don't exist.
-- S04E10 Aunt Nauseum
Daria Morgendorffer: My main weakness is my inability to answer stock questions with stock answers.
-- S05E11 Prize Fighter
Jane Lane: We never used to think about stuff like this.
Daria Morgendorffer: I know. What's happened to us?
Jane Lane: I don't know. Selling out?
Daria Morgendorffer: Buying in?
Jane Lane: Joining the system?
Daria Morgendorffer: Being co-opted?
Jane Lane: Maybe we're just getting older.
-- S05E11 Prize Fighter
Jodi Landon: Many years from now, I'm sure we will look back on our days... with a great fondness for what once was and will never be again.
-- S05E14 Is It College Yet?
Daria Morgendorffer: Otherwise, my advice is stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong... A truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing...
-- S05E14 Is It College Yet?
