Title: Friends
Season 01
Joey Tribbiani: And you never knew she was a lesbian?
Ross Geller: No! Okay? Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know. How should I know?
-- S01E01 The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate (AKA The Pilot)
Monica Geller: Welcome to the real world! It sucks! You're going to love it!
-- S01E01 The One Where Monica Gets a Roommate (AKA The Pilot)
Chandler Bing: "You're such a nice guy" means "I'm going to be dating leather-wearing alcoholics and complaining about them to you."
-- S01E03 The One With the Thumb
Monica Geller: Hey Joey, what would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey Tribbiani: Probably kill myself.
Monica Geller: Excuse me?
Joey Tribbiani: Hey, if little Joey's dead, then I've got no reason to live.
Ross Geller: Joey, omnipotent.
Joey Tribbiani: You are? I'm so sorry.
-- S01E04 The One with George Stephanopoulos
Monica Geller: What? So you guys don't mind going out with someone else who's going out with someone else?
Joey Tribbiani: I couldn't do it.
Monica Geller: Good for you, Joey.
Joey Tribbiani: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
-- S01E06 The One with the Butt
Chandler Bing: So... what is it about me?
Monica Geller: I don't know... You... have a quality.
Everyone: Yeah. Absolutely. A quality.
Chandler Bing: Oh, oh, a quality! Good, because I was worried you guys were gonna be vague about this.
-- S01E08 The One Where Nana Dies Twice
Ross Geller: I can't believe you two had sex in her dream.
Chandler Bing: I'm sorry, it was a one-time-thing. I was very drunk and it was someone else's subconscious.
-- S01E22 The One with the Ick Factor
Monica Geller: I want a baby!
Chandler Bing: You'll get one.
Monica Geller: Oh, really, when?
Chandler Bing: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica Geller: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler Bing: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Monica Geller: Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler Bing: Uh... Uh....
Monica Geller: What is it, is there something fundamentally un-marry-able about me? Well?
-- S01E23 The One with the Birth
Season 02
Ross Geller: You're over me? When were you... under me?
-- S02E07 The One Where Ross Finds Out
Season 03
Ross Geller: How can you not be going?
Rachel Green: Well, I'm not gonna go... so I think that will accomplish the not going.
-- S03E02 The One Where No One's Ready
Monica Geller: Don't do that guy thing where you go all distant and mean, just so that we'll break up with you.
Joey Tribbiani: You know about that?
-- S03E04 The One with the Metaphorical Tunnel
Joey Tribbiani: Look, I'm on board about the "total honesty" thing, I am; just not about stuff that's going to get you in trouble.
Chandler Bing: He's right. Nobody's going to benefit, and you're just going to hurt her.
Joey Tribbiani: And there won't be a relationship left to rebuild.
Chandler Bing: All right, look. If you absolutely have to tell her, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.
-- S03E16 The One The Morning After
Joey Tribbiani: All right. Okay, now. We just have to make sure she doesn't find out some other way. Did you think about the trail?
Ross Geller: What trail?
Joey Tribbiani: The trail from the woman you did it with to the woman you hope never finds out you did it. You always have to think about the trail.
-- S03E16 The One The Morning After
Joey Tribbiani: Do you think I need a new walk?
Chandler Bing: What?
Joey Tribbiani: Well, I've been walking the same way since high school. You know how some people walk in a room and everybody takes notice? I think I need a 'take-notice' walk!
Chandler Bing: Are you actually saying these words?
-- S03E16 The One with the Morning After
Chandler Bing: All right, look. If you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing's right. And that's what deathbeds are for.
-- S03E16 The One with the Morning After
Season 04
Kathy: I'll tell you what, Chandler. Why don't you call me when you grow up!
Chandler Bing: Yeah, well, don't expect that to happen any time soon!
-- S04E13 The One with Rachel's Crush
Season 05
Season 06
Chandler Bing: Now I've upset you? What did I say?
Joey Tribbiani: It's not what you said, it's just the way you said it. Oh my god! I'm a woman!
-- S06E08 The One With Ross's Teeth
Phoebe Buffay: Seriously, Rachel's not gonna think it's a good idea.
Jill Green: So who made her queen of the world?
Phoebe Buffay: I would love that job.
-- S06E13 The One with Rachel's Sister
Season 07
Joey Tribbiani: Man... I'm starving. What was I thinking at dinner ? "Do you want soup or salad?" Both... Always order both...
-- S07E12 The One Where They're Up All Night
Chandler Bing: How drunk are you?
Monica Geller: Drunk enough that I know I want to do this. Not so drunk enough that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Chandler Bing: That's the perfect amount!
-- S07E16 The One with Truth About London
Monica Geller: You stick to your job.
Phoebe Buffay: What's your job?
Chandler Bing: Staying out of the way.
-- S07E17 The One with the Cheap Wedding Dresses
Season 08
Phoebe Buffay: That is brand new information!!
-- S08E03 The One Where Rachel Tells...
Ross Geller: Mona, I love you.
Mona: Aw! And I love spending time with you!
-- S08E11 The One with Ross's Step Forward
Joey Tribbiani: I... I think I'm falling in love with you.
Rachel Green: Who you talking to?
-- S08E16 The One Where Joey Tells Rachel
Phoebe Buffay: Well, the interview...
Chandler Bing: What about it?
Phoebe Buffay: Y’know! You don’t make a very good first impression.
Chandler Bing: What?!
Phoebe Buffay: Oh, you don’t know.
Chandler Bing: Are you serious?!
Phoebe Buffay: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler Bing: What is it that I do?
Phoebe Buffay: Well, it’s just like you’re trying too hard. Always making jokes, y’know, you just -- you come off a little needy.
Chandler Bing: Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel Green: Chandler, I’m not gonna lie to you, but I am gonna run away from you.
-- S08E21 The One with the Cooking Class
Ross Geller: Since Rachel and I... we're doing really well right now.
Phoebe Buffay: I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Ross Geller: Yeah, exactly.
Phoebe Buffay: Right. Or you might get everything you've wanted since you were fifteen.
-- S08E24 The One Where Rachel Has A Baby (Part 2)
Season 09
Chandler Bing: No, no, we're not together. We're not a couple -- we're definitely not a couple.
Saleswoman: Oh! Sorry.
Joey Tribbiani: Wow, you, uh, you seem pretty insulted by that. What, I'm not good enough for you?
Chandler Bing: We're not gonna have this conversation again.
-- S09E07 The One with Ross's Inappropriate Song
Season 10
